A Letter To My Future Daughter In Law

When wrapping up Brooks' baby book, I wanted to close it with something extraordinary. I thought about it for weeks and decided after an encounter at church one week that I would write a letter to his future wife. Yes, it was as emotional as you would imagine it would be as a Mom! Looking at this little one year old boy and picturing him as a man who will love another woman one day is hard to grasp. However, what a powerful truth to speak into the heart of a woman one day! To show her that claims of praying for her weren't just words in a wedding toast, but ones that I had written perhaps 20+ years before. 

After I posted this as part of his baby book preview I've received a lot of interest as to what in the world you say to a woman you've never met and who may not even be alive yet. So I've decided to share, this very intimate letter and peek into my heart for the woman my son will one day love. 

To My Beautiful Daughter in Law,

A few Sundays ago I sat in church and observed the exchange between and woman and her daughter in law.  It was so interesting I had trouble focusing on the service because I couldn't help but be intrigued by both of them throughout the hour.  The parents arrived first, and shortly before the service began the son and daughter in law joined.  It appeared he was an only child.  He walked in and embraced his mother and she said "Hi, baby!" in this voice that dripped with love.  She held him tight and over his should said "Hi" to her daughter in law.  She didn't hug her, her tone changed, and while nice, it didn't drip with love, and you could see the timidity cover the girl's soft face as the woman released her son and they were seated.  The girl slipped her arm in her husband's and leaned into his body.  I could literally see her seeking comfort from him as she navigated this exchange.  She never let go of him through the service, even when they stood and she raised one hand in worship, she held tight to his arm.  She was beautiful and soft, she worshiped in a way that was sincere, and as I watched her I began to think of you.  You, the woman who will one day hold tight to my boy and love him deeply.  I began to pray for you. Praying that you would be a girl with a soft face who loves Jesus and praises him on Sundays with Brooks by your side.  But as I sat there, I knew that if that family were us, I would want you seated beside me.  Where I could lean over to you and laugh when the sermon was funny.  Or where I could grab your hand or touch your leg during prayer so you were reminded that I was always praying for you.  Where you would be safe in the middle with me where I was taught women belong. Bookended between the two men I love most.  My Brooks and my Dale. 

I've been thinking about you a lot since that Sunday.  I've been praying for you since Brooks was born, but since that day, I've been praying intentionally.  Praying that you would be a strong woman with a fierce heart.  A woman who will understand she must serve God in order to love her family well.  I think about you and wonder if your Mommy is rocking you to sleep at night when I am rocking Brooks.  I think about the fact that you may not even be born yet but that when you are I pray that you are given to Godly parents who are raising you to seek out a boy like mine.  A boy who's heart I will teach to beat for Jesus.  A boy who will respect you, honor you, cherish you, love you, protect you, and lead you.  A boy who will one day be a man.  A good man.  A strong man. 

Sweet girl, although I don't know your name yet, I want you to know that I love you.  You will never have to compete with me or fear me.  While I know I will never be like your own mother, I sure hope I can be a close second.  A woman you can trust, love, and share with.  I promise to not be bossy and demanding, I promise to not make Brooks chose between you or I. I promise to let you live your life as your own family. The truth is, I will never be you, and you will never be me, and that is exactly why Brooks can love us both.  

Brooks taught me how to truly love.  He taught me joy and sacrifice.  Patience and pain.  He made my heart feel a way I didn't know existed.  I prayed so desperately for him. I wanted him so very much my heart ached.  One day you will understand a mother's love, and when you do, our bond will grow.  For then we won't just be in laws, we'll be mothers together.